If you read my blog you’ll be fully aware of my CIN2 diagnosis and the journey I had. Tomorrow is my first smear test since the LLETZ treatment and I’m terrified.
I’m not terrified because smear tests are very uncomfortable (to say the least), I’m terrified because of the trauma I experienced during treatment and recovery. Traumatic events in our lives, no matter how big or small, stay with us, and because of this we fear experiencing the same event more than once.
After my treatment it was confirmed all of my abnormal cells were removed, and granted this was great, I believe that if I get CIN2 again my body will probably respond in the same way. Knowing my body could not heal itself in this particular instance, terrifies me. Knowing that I faced complications during recovery, terrifies me. I will always be terrified, every time I get a smear test.
If you’re reading this, please wish me luck. Until the next time.
BCL says
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