As you are all aware I was hit by a car in June. This was not the only difficult thing I’ve experienced in life and you do get to a certain point of reflection where you wonder what would have happened if you had died. I’m not suicidal I’m just unsure if life is truly worth living when so much is out of our control and the people who control it don’t care about you. Every single person is just seen as a number in the wheel to pay for the luxury of being alive. Even if you’re not having a good time you still have to pay for the privilege to survive. If you don’t pay your way, you are worth nothing to the powers that be. I’m struggling with my recovery and yet I’m being forced to find a new job as soon as possible because how dare the powers that be have to pay my rent for me whilst I get over a trauma that almost cost me my life. They don’t care, I almost died yet because I didn’t, all they care about is when I’ll be working next in order to pay into the system. The lan...
Hi all, I don’t know if anyone still reads this blog but it’s a platform that I created not to be read but to be written. Life threw a curveball at me this year, a horrible and nasty curveball. I was hit by a car and I’m now recovering from concussion, a head wound and the trauma of the experience. I was feeling quite optimistic about things before the accident, I had just started a new role, me and my boyfriend had decided to move in together next year. A few things to be excited about. The accident was on the 19th June and this was only a month into my new role which has well and truly made me feel awful. It’s not my fault that I was in an accident but I always feel guilt when I cannot fulfil my duties. I don’t think the guilt stems from letting people down although I do have a sense of that feeling whenever I’m off sick but I think it’s because I need to keep a job. I am not in a position where I can be unemployed and I think that’s where the sense of guilt comes fr...